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Pointless ramblings of a teacher

1st June, 2013. 8:18 pm. Gofundme campaign

I have decided after a great deal of debate to open up a "Gofundme" campaign aiming to get one of two novels I am working on completed and funded. More information can be found here:


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24th February, 2011. 6:01 am. On Twilight (breaking dawn synopsis/comedy review)

Sooooo....... "Breaking Dawn" apparently just started their last bit of principal photography.... which means they are actually planning on releasing the holy grail of Stephanie Meyers depraved little series...

For those of you who haven't actually read the books (and you can mostly count yourselves lucky... albeit up to "Dawn" their not so..... squelchey....) you might be wondering what i mean about "depraved". See up until "Dawn" the books are mostly harmless... if you can overlook that their glorifying an overly co-dependent relationship between an obviously shit munchingly insane girl (she sees her boyfriend in her mind during the second book when she endangers herself... eventually leading to her attempted suicide by cliff diving) and an exceedingly stalkery/abusive "boy" (he stars at her while she sleeps from a tree outside her window... most likely all the time singing a creepy children's song and rocking back and forth, flicking a switchblade open and shut.).

See all of this light hearted relationship-slash-fucked up love triangle with a werewolf fun changes in "Breaking Dawn" when Meyer drops down a huge sack of her favorite fetishes and just starts... flinging it like monkeys at the zoo when an Austic child comes around....

Some examples? Well to start theirs the near MPREG level fanfiction moment where we learn that apparently Edward's semen has a longer shelf life then uranium 235 (I imagine the taste is about the same too... but you'd have to go to the.... "horses mouth" to get that information... which would probably take about five hours of stammery pause filled conversation...).This comes out after the two main characters have rough abusive sex.... which makes Bella love Edward all the more passionately... (that's right girls... smile and sigh contentedly after your boyfriend beats the ever loving shit out of you during sex.... because otherwise he will EAT YOUR SOUL!) Bella proceeds to become "hyper" pregnant.... due to the fact that Stephanie Meyer apparently read a lot of fan-fics which featured magical MPREG and thought "Hey! I could put this fetishy stuff in my book!"

So already we have some form of twisted magical perverted pregnancy going on along with even more twisted abusive boyfriendlyness heaped on for flavoring... what fetish could she do next? Oh! of course! blood play! Since of course the baby inside Bella needs to "nurse"... because all girls have to eat nothing but formulae and baby safe foods when their pregnant right?... Right?... Anyways.... Bella proceeds to give birth.... in a scene that's something out of aliens (and I might add she completely ripped off from another vampire fiction writer by the name of Poppy Z Bright who had the whole "vampire would eat a human woman from the inside out" idea years before but actually went through with it.)

Now we come to probably the most perverted moment in the story.... while Edwards chowing down on his brides Uterus... (ick...) Jacob comes charging up to kill him for hurting Bella/changing her.... when he sees the naked two second old, blood soaked semi-fetal child of his lover cradled in Edward's fathers arms (bless me but I am not going to look up how to spell his name....) Jacob instantly gets a hard on for the blood drenched five second old... plunging the story into depths of perversion not seen outside of the US senate floor.

So... .let's review the final book shall we?

Pedophilia? Checkity check!
Blood sport? Ohhhhh Check!
Rough sex with no consequences? You better believe we got a Check!
Impossible pregnancy leading to a magically fast birth? Oh yes indeedy doo we got another Check!
Angsty co-dependent borderline psychotic love affair? Oh yeah! Check a rooney!

Quality literature and or complex sentence structure?.... I'm sorry but this is sadly no where to be found.... Twilight is just a teeeeeeensy bit above fanfiction quality in writing. This makes the literacy posters I pass by with the movie stars oh so hilarious. I can't believe they post those in schools with a straight face.

Current mood: amused.

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8th January, 2011. 10:24 pm. On Donald Duck....

ever notice how... well... clinically insane Donald happens to be?... of all of the Disney characters I think Donald is the most... potentially lethally insane.... Not just his anger issues... but really if you boil it down.... he has paranoid schizophrenia... obviously... always thinks people are plotting against him and reacts with demonic rage... but then theirs the psychotropic dreams... the hyper realistic delusional moments where he warps into books and has elaborate dream fugues where he interacts with imaginary friends.... it was much worse back in his old days... like in the 1940's.... especially telling is the 1945 film "three cambenarios" ... one of my all time favorite films from childhood.... but horrifically frightening if viewed while considering Donald's fragile psyche.... he gets a present and within minutes... characters on the home movies are exiting the screen and chattering with him.... he opens a book and creates a delusional "brother".... they then shrink down and enter the book to travel to "Baia" once there he tries to have sexual relations with a live action human woman.... and when spurned for another human he becomes a demonic green skinned version of himself and tries to murder the women chosen mate.... he then goes on... after getting kissed by le senorita to have another vivid delusional dream where people change into demonic roosters and have a cock fight.... Later he opens a present and creates a second imaginary cousin.... who actually arrives out of a musical segment where Donald "sees the music" in vivid colors.

Honestly... I kind of wonder if all of Donald's cartoons aren't just delusional dreams of a duck trapped in a padded cell somewhere... babbling incessantly and chewing his finger feathers.... his eyes looking into two different directions.... his body atrophied from lack of care... the walls growing with an eerie ichor as his caretakers have forgotten long ago that he even existed.

Current mood: amused.

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3rd January, 2011. 7:11 pm. Commission

Taking on my first commission... a richer friend of mine wants me to paint his collection of "axis and allies" plastic game pieces.... so about 1K miniatures.... I'm rather excited.

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27th December, 2010. 10:57 pm. I can haz shop?

I have taken the leap of faith and opened a custom miniature shop.


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23rd December, 2010. 7:51 pm. Solstice card

Enjoy my holiday themed solstice card. It includes a non-ecludian holiday carol.


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7th November, 2010. 8:28 pm. ...

I'm slowly reaching the breaking point really... Spent all night being screamed at and told what a horrid person I am since I don;t make enough money... since I annoy my parents... since I'm not good enough.... and since I can;t get a job that actually pays decent wages and or has benefits...

Tomorrow I have to drive a half hour to a school that's 90% African American... where the population is increasingly hostile to me (as I'm a teacher... .and white) and a place where I will be threatened constantly all day.... I have to work from 7-3:30.... no break... no food... and all for basically... 70 dollars.... I'm tired... .very tired of trying anymore.

No matter what i do I can;t make enough to survive... I would need about 3K a month to really live... and for some reason no one is willing to pay that level even though I have an accredited master's degree and "advanced training". all I find are places willing to let me "temp" or "part time".... anything but benefits or actual pay...

I'm running out of time really... come the 20th of this month another 800 in bills is due and even 'if I string them along for a while.... I don't see a point anymore.

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16th September, 2010. 12:27 am. blood loss and keychains

Is their a vein in the human "bird" fingertip?..... *sways and then falls over* basically nearly killed myself tonight via blood loss from a small cut to my fingertip.... from my art knife >.<

The best injuries are self inflicted accidental ones I feel....

In other news I have figured out a way to create miniature keychains from any major model figurine (warhammer, 40K, reaper, ect.) if anyone is interested.... basically their highly detailed miniatures made from sets or customized single figurines... or made completely from scratch (pokeballs are exceedingly easy to model.... done several of them for friends.) Their extremely cheap... from 7 dollars for a customized warhammer/40K mini to maybe 12 for a reaper metal figure. if anyone's interested lemme know.

Current mood: woozey from blood loss.

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5th September, 2010. 10:45 pm. why i hate my home

(Note:... still trying to sell some games... look here... http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1650302/ also FFVII is now open... ebay failed me...)

Alrighty.... anyone who knows me even remotly well... or has actually read through my journals in the last... .few years or so.... at least knows one cardinal thing about me....

I cannot stand bugs...

especially bugs of the roach/"water bug" type....

Sooooo today i was cleaning our trash and noticed some of those lil black spec insect thingies running from the can right?... so i thought... okay I will just clean up a little around the trash cans and that will get rid of them... my parents can;t be that bad of housekeepers...

God.... how foolish we mortals are eh?

I lifted this framed series of Mike Piazza cards my mom had leaning against the kitchen cabinets (yes... as in the place where we keep our cookware.....) and.... good god almighty... a veritable hoard of roaches and waterbugs were nesting on the back.... and as I moved it slightly away from the board (angling it to see if any trash had fallen down there) they all instinctively sensed "insect hater!" and went scurrying towards me at mach five.

Of course being the manly male I am... I immediately screamed like a three year old girl who was just burned by a stove and placed the picture frame thing back and went running for the hills.... quickly followed by the insectious hoard.

My parents of course make fun of me for this... they don;t understand why i am so afraid of bugs... when according to them I live in a "filth pile"..... now here's where I differ drastically from my parents.... see my room is a mess... .yes.... theirs dirty clothes in my cloths bin..... trash on the floor... .ect.... but the real point is.... their isn't any FOOD in my room. if I eat something and don;t finish it... I throw it away immediately.... when I fill up a bag of trash (I don;t own a can) it goes outside... NOW! This is why my room stays bug free always... (well yeah... sometimes a scout makes it through and I have to screech in a manly fashion and kill it with fire {I.E. textbooks from on high}) While bugs might find my room a nice place to make a nest... they don;t... because they know by the time they find food they would have to be several rooms away and more then likely a large chubby man screaming in a high voice will slaughter them all before they make it.

So yeah.... TL/DR..... I'm very verile and manly and I scream like a sissy.... and I hate bugs/my home...

also my rear tire exploded today.... my father's fault really.... he tried to fill it with air and pulled the air nozzle insert thingy that's inside the tire... completely out (probably was defective) so no car for three days...

Current mood: like a million bugs are on me.

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24th July, 2010. 11:17 pm. commissions

Have you ever wanted a customized or painted miniature?

I recently lost my job so... I am going to start offering commissions for basically the cost of the miniature plus what you see as fair.... if you need it faster... I recommend adding to the amount... and letting me know... and I will increase the speed/bump you up on the list.

If you need examples of my work the journal is full of customized miniatures.

I am also going to offer commissions for stories... whether fanfiction... fiction.... whatever....

I have been writing for fourteen years.... been published locally.... and I am fairly fast with my writing. I will basically do anything you wish story wise.... as long as you let me know the characters... the type of story you want... and the length.... again this is based on whatever you think is fair. You can be as in depth and detailed as you want in the instructions and I will try to follow them to the best of my ability. Also... I am willing to write using original and other peoples characters as long as you get their permission (of course I don;t expect you to get some major corporations permission... .fanfiction is the exception.) again for examples you can see my deviant art page which is linked through this journal.

Current mood: anxious.

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